Signposts and Detours Along Your Pathway to Purpose

“Purpose” can be a tough subject for gifted and distractible people. As children, we’re often told, “the world is your oyster!” It’s rough when you realize the world isn’t what you hoped and dreamed. For twice-exceptional people, who often feel a strong sense of justness, see a bright line between right and wrong, and are deeply empathetic, the clash between what ought to be and what is leaves real existential angst that puts up a roadblock on our pathway to purpose.

Often, this is when we put our heads down, do what we think we have to do, but feel unfulfilled. Looking for purpose feels too risky. The disappointment and disillusionment are real. But if we reframe finding purpose to awakening purpose, suddenly walking your pathway toward purpose isn’t as scary or risky. It’s inherent in you, waiting to be rediscovered. You just need to look within yourself and dust off what’s been there all along.

How to Awaken Your Purpose

On this journey you’ll find signposts and detours along the way. If you’re not careful, you may miss important indicators that point the way toward your authentic self. And if you linger on a detour, making excuses as to why you can’t get back on your pathway to purpose, you’ll feed into misinformed feelings of what you should be doing or why you can’t possibly give yourself the luxury of living a purposeful life.

Detours

Detours along the pathway to purpose are distractions that move you away from your pathway to purpose. They may make you feel better in the moment, numbing reality, but are fleeting, a waste of precious time, and in worst-case scenarios, are damaging. Detours are when we self-medicate or avoid, they are when we play it safe or engage in mind-numbing and wholly unproductive activities. We go on these detours because they are easy (almost like a sugar high), and the crash actually diminishes the voice that wants to tell you that you’ve fallen off your meaningful path and that you need to approach your life differently. The longer we stay on that detour, the quieter the warning voice becomes, and that’s why it’s important to recognize the detour so you can reroute and get back on your path.

Signposts

Signposts tell you the traits you inherently have that can inform and therefore assist you in awakening your purpose. Signposts are sometimes harder to recognize than detours. Consider, “What have people always said about you?” “What’s the way people tend to categorize you in their minds?” For me, I’ve always been called “intimidating” and have been told that I “don’t have boundaries.” That first description, I consider a signpost telling me I’m a leader and some people have a hard time with a person who takes charge. While it wasn’t pleasant hearing it, it was easier to recognize for what it was.

The second qualifier, that I don’t have boundaries, actually hurt more. I’ll never forget a particular time someone said that to me. I was traveling abroad with a group, and our first activity was a Segway tour around the city. About five minutes in, along the walkway where we were riding our Segways, an elderly woman fell. I jumped off my Segway and ran to her to see if there was any way I could help, even though I did not speak the language of the country we were visiting, and of course, did not know the woman. The leader of our trip made a comment that “I don’t have boundaries,” and at first, it confused me and hurt my feelings. But then I felt my brain doing a rapid-fire cost-benefit analysis, and I knew that boundaries or not, my deep empath self would never be able to look away, leave it to someone else, or ignore someone in pain.

I see the same instinct when I’m in an airport. For years we flew with our three kids and there was so much to do, and organize, and handle. The first time I flew alone, I remember walking up to people (people with small kids, or people in wheelchairs) just to see if there was any way I could help. It was very difficult for me to just sit there as I saw people in need and there were small things I could do to help. Did I ignore or blur boundaries? Maybe. But I was listening to my authentic self. I am a helper. And I’m a leader. I’m not going to wait for someone to tell me what to do, or even ask for help if I can see a way to offer assistance. And I’m okay with that. Those signposts, reframed so they are recognized for what they are, help me awaken the purpose within me. In fact, I remember my very first signpost. It was when I was four years old. I distinctly remember sitting and wondering, “Why am I here? This can’t be random. There must be a reason that I am me.” That need to do something meaningful, to make the world a better place, that is inherent in me and led me toward the purpose I live today.

When I asked the members of my Haystack Community for 2e adults about the messages they’ve heard their entire lives, one beautiful member shared that people tell him he’s “too much.” He “asks too many questions.” He shared that he loves AI because it never tells him that he asks too many questions. Those comments, to me, indicate “curiosity,” “creativity,” “problem-solver,” and “critical thinker.” Now the important question: is he using these innate characteristics to live his purpose?

Part of my purpose is to help the gifted and distractible population to reframe negative feedback from others, and to quiet their own inner negative voice. Guess what? Those negative thoughts and feelings? They cause you to veer toward a detour. They send you hurtling at top speed in exactly the wrong direction.

What are signposts in your life that you may have misinterpreted before? What are those signposts telling you about that dusty, dormant purpose that’s been inside you all along? What detours keep you from actualizing your authentic self?

If this blog has sparked your interest in delving deeper, if there’s warmth in your chest as hope blossoms toward reconnecting with your purpose, I have good news for you! Coming in April 2027, I’m collaborating with Jerry Fishman from Living on Purpose to bring an in-person (Yes! In-person!) three-day retreat for adults wanting a deep, meaningful, reflective experience to help awaken their purpose and live an impactful life.