Why Transitions are Hard for Gifted and Distractible People

Why transitions are hard for Gifted and Distractible people and 5 tips to navigate change with self-care, resilience, and gratitude
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I’ve written about transitions before, but it feels like there are just SO many transitions happening all around us right now that I’ve decided to tackle the topic again. Transitions are notoriously difficult for twice exceptional humans. Our powers of observation, our sensitive nervous systems, and our desire for things to be better, all can make transitions hard for us. Here’s a rundown of some current “Big Kahoona” transitions we are in the midst of, and five suggestions to help, well, ease the transitions.

In the United States we just had a huge transition of power. Yep – not just a transition like one person moving out and one moving in – this transition has huge, intense, and had enormous emotional effects on many different people for many reasons. Because most of us are not in a position to have our voice heard in any way about anything at a high political level, we can feel powerless. Sure, we can rant or celebrate on social media, but let’s face it, that’s an echo chamber for hand-selected people who likely mirror our feelings. Thumbs up and hearts may feel good at the moment, but we really haven’t reached anyone who doesn’t know what we’re thinking and feeling anyway.

How about the fires in California. Whether you live there and are directly affected by them – if you are 2e – you likely feel deep empathy for the people, the places, the environment. Again, the powerlessness.

Then there’s the Middle East. The complexities and heartbreak, the heart ache, and uncertainty of the butterfly effect that is taking place right before our very eyes. Things that haven’t happened, things that did happen, things that might happen, and things we have no idea how to fathom yet – they leave us feeling off kilter and untethered, to say the least.

Many people are in the midst of radical seasons – as I type this blog our county schools have already called for a two-hour delay tomorrow because of the cold. It’s only 10:00 am. That’s just weird.

So, transitions.

You know, just about every little thing (let alone the big things above) are transitions. When you wake up you transition from being asleep. When you get in your car you transition from being at home. When you enter work or school, you leave unstructured time for often highly structured time.

How Transitions Impact GIFTED AND DISTRACTIBLE People

Gifted and Distractible people tend to have more sensitive nervous systems. They notice more, feel more, experience more intense emotions. It stands to reason that transitions would just amp up your finely tuned antennae.

Here are some suggestions of what to do when you are feeling overwhelmed, overwrought, or just…over.

  1. Self-care. This might mean giving yourself permission to look away. That’s right. Put the phone down and step away. At least for a distinct spell of time. I know, we feel responsible as 2e people, but it’s okay. Sometimes, to be there later we have to pull away now. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It means you are self-aware. Go ahead, crank up the volume on your happy music and dance, or nod your head, or drum on your lap. Let yourself feel happiness and joy for a moment. It’s the only way to deal with the next transition that’s likely just around the corner.
  2. Get involved. I know I said above that there’s a level of powerlessness when big transitions occur. But you can do something. I’m neither asking, nor expecting you to change the world – but can you change a moment for someone? Can you smile, or call, or write a letter? Can you donate time, money, or an item? Any amount of involvement soothes our empathetic soul and does make a difference for someone.
  3. Tincture of time. Allow yourself to ride the transition wave. Notice it’s happening, give yourself some time. Of course, depending on the magnitude of the transition, this is harder or easier, but pause, meditate, draw, crochet (my personal favorite), walk, relax, exercise, do something to take your mind off the transition that has taken over your brain space. Know that sunshine does follow thunderstorms. Waiting is hard, but knowing that there is an end, there’s always an end, might help.
  4. Focus on the good. Often this is hard. But there really is always something good. And if you can feel a connection to something or someone – that helps to ground you. Lately I’ve looked to a modern-day hero, Rachel Goldberg-Polin, who suffered so profoundly when her son was kidnapped and taken hostage into Gaza only to be shot days before he was to be rescued. In a recent video she describes her connection to truth and to Gd and how that has helped her move through the transition of every single moment of every single day. She describes that she cannot understand, but that she believes. Wow. Talk about mind blowing resilience. If she can find good and can pick her head up every single day, then so can I.
  5. Gratitude. There is always something we can be grateful for. Whether it’s the sunshine, a piece of chocolate, a smile, an experience, a person, a pet. The trick is to shift focus from the pain of transition to the power of feeling gratitude.


Transitions are tough. They’re hard for you because you are beautiful – because things matter to you, because you feel deep empathy, because you want things to be as good as they can be. Take a moment and let that sink in and really feel how wonderful it is that your outlook is tied to the betterment of the world and that your observant nervous system connects you to the organic world around you. It’s a blessing. I didn’t say it was easy. But it is a blessing.

Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.
Author: Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.

Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D., is the Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, through which she passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, and collaborates with and advises educators and professionals on bringing out the best and raising self-confidence in their students and clients.

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Picture of Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.

Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.

Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D., is the Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, through which she passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, and collaborates with and advises educators and professionals on bringing out the best and raising self-confidence in their students and clients.

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