How the World Cup is like…THE WORLD
Oh, the anticipation. Oh, the excitement. Oh, the hope. Oh, the unexpected. Oh, the elation. Oh, the disappointment.
Maybe I’m talking about football (aka soccer, where I’m from).
Maybe I’m talking about parenting.
Maybe I’m talking about teaching.
Maybe I’m talking about navigating this world as a 2e adult.
The highs. The lows. The everything in between.
I was talking to my son the other day about the abysmal US showing against Belgium. We both LOVE watching soccer. As a former goal tender, my son blamed the goalie. “How did he miss that kick?!” “Why wasn’t he back in the goal in time?!”
Funny, I immediately blamed the coach. “Why did the team seem so disorganized?” To me it was obvious, “Belgium was running plays and the US didn’t have a plan!”
When things don’t go our way, we tend to look for and assign blame. We want a reason. We want a cure (I dig into this more in my post about what I call the 2e spin cycle).
The goalie should have practiced more. Did he sleep enough? Was he communicating? Was he acting as a team member or did he go rogue?
Did the coach drill the players enough? Did he create and teach plays?
Likely a whole host of things affected the World Cup game. Just like in life. Most of which, we cannot control.
Well, let me re-word that because that reads very scary. Not having control is probably the number one thing 2e people seek and cannot find.
So how about this? In life (just like in soccer), you can plan, you can practice, you can try and show up as your best – well fed, well rested, well exercised self – but sometimes the balls come from somewhere you didn’t expect. Sometimes they hit harder or bounce in a weird way.
It’s what you do, how you react (please don’t kick over the water cooler like the US coach did on the sideline), how you allow yourself to feel, that matters.
Being 2e, loving 2e, teaching 2e – you’re guaranteed some serious highs and lows. You’ll feel the most fulfilled and the most gutted. Your life will be meaningful. It won’t be boring.
Players who make it to the World Cup aren’t there because it was smooth sailing or easy. It was grueling work; sometimes fun, oftentimes hard. But what an honor to even be in the stadium. And what an opportunity to meet all those people. What an experience to learn so much in such a short amount of time. What a concept that your job transcends borders, language, politics, and allows you to role model to so many.
So it is living this 2e life.
You can imagine the World Cup losing teams making a choice – focus on the negative or recognize and appreciate the immense positives their opportunity provided.
You’re in this gifted and distractible life. There will be plenty of emotions – because we are wired that way. It’s how you manage the emotions and how much volume you give to the negative versus the positive that’s in your life. It’s okay to sit in disappointment, exhaustion, frustration, sadness, and anger. But give those emotions airtime, not overtime.
Remember to notice the good, the glad, the growth, and at the base of it all, realize this life you’ve been given allows you to notice so much, learn so much, feel so much. The real way to win the game is to appreciate you get to play the game.
Author: Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.
Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D., is the Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, through which she passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, and collaborates with and advises educators and professionals on bringing out the best and raising self-confidence in their students and clients.
