Back-to-school transitions are hard (especially for 2e children and their parents). They bring anxiety for kids and parents alike. Preparing ahead helps you anticipate pitfalls, helps your child and their teachers avoid surprises, and helps you manage your own worries.
Prepare Your Child: Use Multiple Modalities
Building comfort and familiarity works best across different learning styles:
Visual: Get a photo of the teacher, drive by the school, look at a map of the school interior, review school materials, create a countdown calendar, or build a “visual script” of the day from wake-up to homecoming.
Kinesthetic: Play on the playground (if allowed), walk the school grounds, shop for school supplies together, practice the morning routine, or play “school” at home.
Auditory: Rehearse the morning routine out loud (“wake up, get washed, get dressed, eat breakfast, put lunch in backpack, walk out the door”), practice saying teachers’ names, or make a morning-routine playlist.
Prepare Yourself
- Practice your own emotion-regulation strategies (breathe, exercise, listen to music, reward yourself to build resilience and pump up the happy hormones!)
- Review school supply lists ahead of time
- Have a lunch/snack-making plan (will you or your child make lunches/snacks? How can your child be involved by giving choices and delegating jobs like putting carrots in a ziplock bag. The more your child is involved the more buy in he has and the less you have to do!)
- Press “pause,” expect your child to be overwhelmed after school, and plan not to take it personally
- Keep a snack ready in the car for pickup or on the table for when he arrives home
- Do something for yourself while your child is at school to recharge (don’t just do laundry! What will fill your resilience bucket so when your child comes home, you have the energy and ability to summon the patience you need to resist matching his potential emotion dysregulation?)
Prepare Your Child’s Teachers
Create a one-pager covering:
- Strengths
- Struggles
- What works and what doesn’t
- Important information about your child
- Your child’s asynchrony, what teachers will see, and what it means
- Goals you have (not about grades or performance)
Then ask the teacher:
- Who is my child’s go-to person?
- Where can my child go if overwhelmed or stressed?
- Who’s the best person for me to communicate with, and how?
Five Questions to Build Your One-Pager
- What are my child’s strengths?
- What are my child’s struggles?
- What accommodations and enrichment work?
- What accommodations and enrichment don’t work?
- What’s the ONE thing you want teachers to know? (this is super important to ask your child, no matter his age and share the feedback with his teachers).
Free Live Webinar
A free, live session to help your gifted or 2e child ease back into the school year, with Julie Skolnick.
Don’t Forget the Administrators
Introduce yourself, share positive feedback about teachers, and ask how you can support the school’s mission.
Anticipate the Honeymoon Period
Early weeks can look deceptively smooth, so stay alert for warning signs as the year progresses.
If Your Child Already Went Back
It’s never too late for good advocacy:
- Request a meeting with the teachers
- Think about goals and make them specific
- Use what you know about your child to collaborate with teachers
The A-R-T of Advocacy
Remember when meeting with teachers to: Acknowledge → Request → Thank
Acknowledge their overflowing plates. Bring a snack to meetings, everyone loves a treat!
Request specific goals and how to measure progress. Identify who will be in charge of the action items linked to those goals.
Thank the team members. Remember, the more you collaborate the more you build a team of adults who understand your child and are motivated to help him succeed in his goals.
Make Deposits
Help give educators a positive perspective of your child. Send photos or very short updates on passions your child is engaged in outside of class. Note and share whenever your child provides any positive feedback about school.
Remember the 3-Sentence Rule when communicating with teachers. If you have more than three sentences to say in an email, it’s no longer an email. Plan for an in person or virtual meeting to discuss what’s on your mind and remember the A-R-T of advocacy in that meeting.
You’ve Got This
You’re here. You’re committed. You care. Role model for your child how to advocate and collaborate.
Want to go deeper? The Gifted and Distractible course starts October 6th, an 8-week program combining webinars and live Zoom calls covering understanding 2e, strategies, and advocacy. Join the waitlist or book a course consult or 1:1 consultation.
Author: Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.
Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D., is the Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, through which she passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, and collaborates with and advises educators and professionals on bringing out the best and raising self-confidence in their students and clients.
