Disclaimer: SENG did not ask me to write this. I feel compelled to “pay it forward” to those of you who parent, teach, and are gifted and 2e to encourage you NOT to miss the opportunity of a lifetime.
I am honored to keynote at the upcoming SENG conference in Alexandria, VA this July 23-24. You might say it’s a “full circle moment” for me. My very first SENG conference was in 2012 when my own three 2e kids were eleven, nine, and three years old. I found out about SENG in a roundabout way, and I can truly say, SENG CHANGED MY LIFE.
History
My middle child was diagnosed gifted and identified with ADHD when he was five years old. I had no idea what ADHD meant and while I thought I knew what gifted meant, I was missing a lot of information. Because I thought gifted simply meant “smart,” I spent three years learning only about ADHD and was told a whole lot of “glass half-empty” premonitions. Some of my favorite least-favorites included: my kid would likely drop out of school smart as he was, would drive recklessly, would do drugs, and at the ripe old age of five, I already knew he’d likely get divorced. Those were some pretty dark times for me as a parent, and as a young mother, I was desperately trying to change a life’s course that seemed already set in stone for him.
At a local conference for learning disabilities, there was a small pamphlet in the corner of a table, for Supporting the Emotional Needs of the Gifted (SENG). The fact that an organization was dedicated to emotional needs was revolutionary to me! Most of the organizations I knew about at the time were focused on behaviors and how to change them, never about understanding or addressing what might be the cause of them. This was 2011 and my first introduction to SENG.
In 2012 I attended my first SENG conference and after the first talk I attended, I called my husband and said, “I will come to this conference every year for the rest of my life!” That’s exactly what I’ve done. I couldn’t believe the strengths-based approach and the positive reframing that was occurring around what I didn’t even know about – twice exceptionality. I learned to consider the whole child and to understand behaviors vis a vis environment and needs. I realized that needs aren’t just around deficits but should be organized, most importantly, around strengths.
Fast forward to 2014 when I started my service, With Understanding Comes Calm, to guide and support parents of what I then called, “gifted and distractible” kids. In 2015 I started training teachers, in 2016 started mentoring adults and in 2023 Penguin Random House published my book, Gifted and Distractible: Understanding, Supporting, and Advocating for Your Twice Exceptional Child (TarcherPerigee, 2023). G&D (as I affectionately refer to the book) has sold over twenty-one thousand copies to date and has been used by parents, educators, and 2e adults throughout the world. I am blessed to work with incredible clients and colleagues in the gifted education, special education, psychology and neurodiversity spaces, and I owe it all to SENG.
Strength-Based Perspective
One of the most important concepts SENG taught me was how to apply a strengths-based approach to complex situations. When clients share about their children’s complexities and intensities, I’m able to utilize a lens that magnifies the deep empathy, care, concern, and strong moral compass that result in their behaviors. As the last chapter of Gifted and Distractible espouses, the most important lesson in life’s journey is to find a way to love yourself. That can’t happen without a strengths-based approach. I truly believe there is always a way to positively reframe twice exceptional behaviors and often that reframe is rooted in a deep understanding of a person’s overexcitabilities. A strength-based approach and the ability to positively reframe are necessary to support the emotional needs of gifted and 2e people.
Community Building
Another cornerstone of SENG, and particularly the SENG conference, is the opportunity for all stakeholders to build community. When I first started attending SENG conferences there wasn’t a lot known about twice exceptionality and therefore there weren’t a lot of presentations dedicated to the topic at the conference. Now I think it’s safe to say that all presentations mention, if not directly address twice exceptional considerations. SENG has always been about parenting and teaching 2e, but now the conference includes presentations specifically for gifted and distractible adults. As if that wasn’t enough, over the years SENG has grown its parallel program for gifted and 2e kids, truly making it the most holistic conference for all stakeholders in our field! Imagine as parents, teachers, 2e adults and kids, getting to hang out with your true peers – the overlap in experiences of parents and their kids is ripe with shared understanding and true role modeling for what it’s like to be gifted and 2e and how to build healthy relationships.
Community Sustaining
But, SENG is not a forty-eight hour organization only providing one incredible yearly national conference. All-year-long SENG works across the United States to bring programming and resources to all stakeholders. The approach is, and always has been, driven by member needs. As a member of SENG there are ample opportunities for in-person and virtual learning, mini conferences, and connecting, and in my opinion, SENG serves as an oasis regarding true understanding of gifted and twice exceptional strengths and needs.
I hope you’ll join me at SENG this year on July 24-25 in beautiful Alexandria, VA. You can find out more here. My keynote, Gifted and Distractible: 24/7 addresses understanding, strategies and advocacy for gifted and 2e WHOLE people and might just include some “crystal ball” moments. I’ll also present the never given before topic of Gifted and Distractible Adults: Finding Personal and Professional Fulfillment. If you do come – SENG will provide you with a free copy of my book Gifted and Distractible, and I will happily personalize and sign it for you. I can’t wait to meet you at SENG and add to my beautifully diverse gifted and 2e community!
Author: Julie F. Skolnick M.A., J.D.
Julie Skolnick, M.A., J.D., is the Founder of With Understanding Comes Calm, LLC, through which she passionately guides parents of gifted and distractible children, mentors 2e adults, and collaborates with and advises educators and professionals on bringing out the best and raising self-confidence in their students and clients.